I was a wife and mother, but I was also a writer, student, and employee, but my posistion of wife came to abrupt end, I felt like I had failed all of these posistions; I felt like a failure as a wife, and worse I felt I destroyed my sons childhood. I didn't care about writing, or work, and took leave from school; all because one of my titles was not a good fit. How is it possible to doubt yourself on every level of you because someone else felt they needed better than me? Has that ever happened to anyone else? What did you do?
I was so scared to let myself be me again, I found the safe zone in myself where I only gave a fraction of myself and passion for everything in life to the things I did. I wasn't sad or depressed, or hated life, I was simple numb and content with that, so I didn't feel the need push myself, I baried myself deep inside almost to the point I didn't know me anymore.
I thought was happy, and thought I was perfectly content with where I was at in life, but I was wrong, I was hybernating my way through,I wasn't happy or even moving I was stuck in my own cave not caring if spring came.
I am a very independent and strong woman, and I pride myself in getting back on the horse if I hit the dirt, but I didn't relize that I didn't get back on the horse, I traded for a pony ride and thought it was the same.
Today I had a converstion with a close and collegue and I realized I haven't tried to do anything except fly under the radar just get by, and thats not where or what I want to be, so I decided to do something about it, I have meetings set up, and goals created; so now n 30 days I can't wait to see where I am.
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